... need some love.

Today Olivia's labs came back not good. Earlier tonight I got a voicemail from her nephrologist that she wants to admit Olivia tomorrow again and if her numbers are the same, than she will do her biopsy tomorrow too. Seeing Olivia home has been a privilege since those days have been a very few these past couple of months and just the thought of more hospitalization days and procedures just brakes our heart to pieces... No matter how strong we try to be for each-other and her it is just too hard sometimes to hide it. As we got the news Peter and I were talking about her situation, the hurt, the faith... Sometimes is really hard to remember that GOD is in control especially when we want to be able to fix everything and we can't. At the end of our conversation, Peter reminded me again how my fears get bigger when I am not in control or not know what tomorrow will bring. - Dajana, he said,remember how GOD has not let us down yet ( looking at Livi playing in a corner with her dollies). HE has shown that HE loves us and is in control. That statement was really powerful at that moment. Tears filled my eyes so I used both of my hands to cover my face so Livi didn't see me. As I felt like chocking in my own tears, crying in silence and gasping for air in between my hands I hear a little voice behind me... O- mama.... Me,Clearing my throat ... -Yes love... Mama, I think you need some love today. I tried to wipe my tears really quick to see her little face but her little arms wrapped around my head so quickly and we just hugged each other so tight that we didn't want to let go. How beautiful to be able to get comfort from your 5-year old with just a little love...